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| so the vote was to leave xanga. i kinda was feeling that way anyway.
so here's the new blog: paulheggie.wordpress.com
please check it out regularly and talk to me there!
thanks, xanga.
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| i haven't been posting much at all in here as of late, and for that, i apologize. a lot has been going on since my last entry and intend to at least touch on some of that, but before i give the thirsty, parched world a glass of cool, refreshing tidbits of my infinitely fascinating life, i need your input.
since i've been in such a funk regarding writing, i'm considering jump-starting my online writing in a new locale (web-wise). in other words, i'm thinking about jumping ship from xanga to another blogging site. it's a tougher decision than i thought it would be. i've been writing on xanga since 2002, nearly eight years ago. i have a lot of history with this oddly named blog site. why leave? i'm thinking it might help me start fresh, start anew, and give me a fresh change of online writing scenery. i mean, in the last month or so, i've finished a job at a school, i got married, i moved to a new city...it almost seems fitting to change this as well.
in any case, i'd like your opinion, your assistance, i should say. help me decide what i should do.
should i stay with old faithful, or should i pack up my bags and start fresh on a new blog?
please leave me a comment here, on aim, on facebook, on my phone, whatever's easiest for you at the moment you decide to cash in your opinion. i'd appreciate it.
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| texting after chaperoning the spring dance:
paul: when you look me in the eyes, tell me that you love me
lindsey: i can tell you've been with middle schoolers all night...you're singing jonas brothers
paul: oh, jo bros.
***
i'm getting married in three weeks. how awesome and insane is that?
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Jesus, forgive us for loving stuff so much. if i were you, i'd feel frustrated. and hurt. i don't know how you do what you do.
hoping the things of earth grow strangely dim.
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| man. apartment searching is tough.
this past weekend, lindsey and i went to philly for round 2 of apartment hunting. we checked out a bunch of places, talked to so many landlords/managers, and went through piles of application papers. not to mention the seemingly countless apartments we weeded out on craigslist.com before even making the trip. looking for apartments in a town other than where we currently live has proven to be much more stressful than i anticipated. this is not like when i've looked for apartments here in state college, while already living in state college. where you know people who have lived in those places. where the farthest distances between any two apartments in this town is a ten, fifteen minute drive. nope. first of all, we're talking about having to plan a trip just for apartment searching. then we're talking 30, 45 minute drives between any place we look at. every place is uncharted territory, the unknown.
after two days of what felt like non-stop driving, and a rollercoaster ride of heightened hopes and dips of disappointments, i am wiped out. exhausted.
for a short period of time, discouraged, too.
the end of this trip came down to making a tough decision. (i just keep thinking of ron burgundy above the bear pit, saying, "i am in a pickle!" to keep me smiling) this is a swift introduction into the real world. college was awesome, and though i won't go as far as to say that it's completely unlike the real world, there is certainly a whole new level now. it's like playing wii bowling. in wii bowling, i emulate so much of what i'd have to do in real bowling--the form, the steps, the swing, even the curve i can put on a ball. i can get a strike on almost every turn. but when i lace up those duo-toned shoes at the lanes and have to place my fingers in that 15-pound ball (i actually like to use an 11-pound ball...15 just makes me sound stronger and more impressive), it's a whole new game. i shouldn't be shocked when, at the end of the 10th frame, the screen reads next to the name "hawt stuph" (my bowling alias) a sad score of 86. the wii can't quite capture some of those live-action elements...slipping on the hardwood, blistering your fingers, sammy mcgreaseball in the next lane whose horrifically white butt blinds all of lanes 2, 3, and 4 every time he bends down to bowl.
like i said, college was good, but now it's a whole new game, and i have to lace up my real-world shoes and make some tough decisions. it's hard not to think about the what-if's...what if this is totally the wrong place? what if we can't come up with the money? what if, what if, what if...
the questions, the pressure....it's draining.
i'm put at peace though when i remember that there is a good God. a very good God. and he takes care of us little guys and he watches out for us. and even if he doesn't work every little detail out smoothly, even if we make a mistake here, he'll get us through that.
and, most importantly, i can't lose sight of how completely awesome it is that i'm getting to start a home, and a family. when i've been feeling like a migrant, a wanderer, for nearly a year now...when i've had to see both of my dearest friends pack up and move their lives away from here...i'm finally going to have a place to call home, and in that place is the one major ingredient to qualify it as home--my wife. come on--that's awesome.
so yeah, i'm zapped and i'm a hair away from a coma as i'm writing this, but there's this unbelievable peace in the face of this jungle of the unknown--the peace of soon, finally, being able to say, "i'm home."
*hold on to hope.
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